Building Bridges like Jesus did: Friendships Over Fruit Baskets

Last week, I had the privilege of speaking in a seventh grade class to talk about what it means to follow Jesus and build bridges like Jesus did. Together, we studied John 4:4-42: Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well.

It’s one of those stories we can become so familiar with that we might miss just how radical and intentional Jesus was in his interactions with her. 

The Barriers Jesus Crossed

To set the scene, we imagined the dusty roads Jesus walked to get to Samaria, taking a road that most Jews avoided. The sun beating down in the middle of the day, and Jesus doing the unthinkable as a Jewish rabbi...asking a Samaritan woman for a drink of water. 

In a single encounter, Jesus intentionally crosses barriers with significant consequences:

• Jewish/Samaritan–a barrier that wasn’t just an ethnic divide but two groups that were historically enemies. Jews actively avoided Samaritans and here Jesus was, walking through the town of Samaria, pausing at the well just to have a conversation with this woman. 

• Male/female–a rabbi alone with a woman who wasn’t his family member was scandalous. 

• Religious teacher/social outcast–she came to the well in the middle of the day, in the scorching heat, likely to avoid other people. 

• Clean/Unclean–by sharing a cup with her, Jesus made himself ritually unclean according to Jewish law. 

Going out of His Way

What struck the students was realizing that Jesus didn’t just stumble into the situation. He intentionally went out of his way and when he did, he didn’t just tolerate her, smile and nod, and move on with his day, but he intentionally went out of his way to engage her in a conversation. He sees her and asks for help in a move of humility and vulnerability. He engages her story (even the hard topics). He talked theology with her, treating her as someone worthy of a serious conversation, offering her dignity in a world that had stripped it away. 

This encounter results in this woman to become the first recorded person to discover Jesus was the Messiah. She immediately became a bridge-builder herself, running to tell her entire town.

The Cost of Bridge-Building

I asked the students: "what did it cost Jesus to have this conversation? How is this different from just “being nice” to someone different?”

One students’ response captured it perfectly: “it cost Jesus his entire reputation.” 

You could see the truth of that statement begin to sink in across the room. For these seventh grade students (and really for most adults!) reputation is everything. And yet, Jesus’ actions weren’t just about being polite or tolerant. Jesus risked everything that gave him credibility and status in his religious community because he valued this woman (an outcast, an enemy), as someone made in the image of God. 

More than a Fruit Basket

I shared with the students about my work in refugee advocacy and the complex circumstances that push people to flee their homes. I invited students to imagine moving to a new country without knowing the customs, culture, religion, or language. "What would make you feel seen?" 

One of the student’s responses stopped me in my tracks:

“I would probably want someone to just be my friend. I can imagine if someone came and showed up to my door with the fruit basket and said "here you go, I would be like uhh I don’t want that, I just want you to be my friend.”

There it was. This seventh grader understood what Jesus’ heart for the woman at the well was all about. More than giving at a distance with acts of service that assume what people need (showing up with helpful and well-intended ‘fruit baskets’ but not staying around for a relationship), but genuine relationships. 

Another student added:

“it’s important to listen first because we don’t want to just help and not ask them first what they need. They know best about what they need.”  

These students understood that following Jesus means more than just being kind. It means being willing to go out of our way, to risk our comfort and our reputation, to cross the barriers that divide us from one another, and to listen before we act. To offer friendship, not just fruit baskets. 

Because that’s what Jesus did first. He bridged the ultimate barrier between us and God, and then he spent his entire ministry crossing barrier after barrier to reach people that most religious people would never even associate with. 

And he invites us to do the same. 

So here's my question for you: 

What barriers is Jesus inviting you to cross? Who are the people in your life—or just outside it—that you've been avoiding? What would it look like to go out of your way, to listen first, to offer friendship instead of a fruit basket?

It might cost you something. But then again, that's what makes it more than just being nice.

*If you're in the Seattle area and want to continue this conversation, I'd love to connect. Whether you're curious about refugee advocacy work, interested in learning how to get involved in your own community, or wondering if I might come speak to your church, school, or organization, reach out. These conversations matter, and I believe they're most powerful when we have them together.

Connect with Me!